Seller or Buyer
Your Rants

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Set me on fire!

i once encountered this incident where i was interested in a vintage necklace sold online. So quickly i emailed the seller, and within a FEW SECONDS, i got a reply from her. So I was happy that she was online the SAME TIME as i was, so we started chatting via (email). Obviously, we were both online at the same time because we received each other emails within the next 10-15 seconds.

I remember my subject going with "I'm very much interested and would like to purchase that vintage it still available?"

There were a few inquiries when we chatted via (email) because i thought she was charging Pos Ekspres (rm4) in the order form. So i had to reconfirm, becuz i remember there was a smaller envelope size at (rm2.5) during that time for light weighted items.

So all in, i was actually (emailing) her like one to two emails back and forth, to ask her on that, and she gladly explained it was only (rm2.5) stated so tiny at the bottom of the post, and when i said "ok, i'll have it, thanks:)!" within maybe 10 minutes later, and she told me "sorry girl since you were ONLY inquiring, i have reserved it for another girl in line that confirmed it".

Knnccb..i felt as if fire was burning at my chest!

It could have been at her courtesy to tell me nicely if i wanted it since we were both already CHATTING ONLINE VIA EMAIL, isnt it?

From buyer's perspective, in alot of situations we have the right to inquire before confirming and paying, no? It's part of the process for buying too isn't it?

I mean i wouldnt say i'm entirely at no fault, but she could have told me if i am still keen to buy since we're both corresponding via email at the same time..I really kinda detest sellers that go so much by the book / jungle / stupid policy and have no sense of Customer Relation Management / flexibility at all, which makes online shopping a less enjoyable experience.


  1. I've been online shopping for the longest time and this is what i've learnt. I hardly take the time to ask questions back & forth. I like it, i buy it. This of course having read all the terms & condition, shipping charges blah blah blah. If for one instance I do not agree with any of the charges or terms, i just dont buy. Simple as that...

    Maybe unlike alot of buyers out there, I for one do understand that I AM NOT THE ONLY BUYER the seller has.

  2. Actually the seller is not wrong, as you are only inquiring and did not confirm the order. Priority will always goes to the person who provide the full details for an order (for blogshop who didnt apply the pay 1st policy)

  3. actually full details have been given in the order and i've tried to use words like "i'm interested and i want to purchase, is it available, can you reserve for me" as a method to confirm. It's just that i thought she's charging rm4.5 (in the order form), instead of (rm2.5), and there was the delay, and then it was sold to another customer. I could understand if the seller sold it to the customer when she didn't hear from the buyer within 24 hours, but that was merely 20 minutes for the whole conversation to take place=(..

  4. I'm with the seller...
    Your trying to use words like interested, available, reserve IS NOT a confirmation. Next time just say "i wanna CONFIRM this order. pls let me know the total to pay" If there is any question on the postage, at least the order is already confirm.
    You honestly sound hesitant with your trying words so its definitely not wrong for seller to sell it to someone else first with no qualms about the postage probably.

  5. @anon 8.18pm

    I believe you have mistaken. As you can see, she did said that she was interested and would like to purchase the vintage necklace. Notice her mentioning 'purchase'?

  6. i understand that sellers want fast deals but at least infrom the buyer/writer first lah. just tell her someone else is interested too so do u want to confirm or something like this. just selling it off without telling the other person who u're corresponding with and u know she is interested in and wants to buy is just plain RUDE. only greedy people are like this, dont care about others just want fast money.

  7. same like the post what do u think huh? maybe same seller?

  8. hmm.. In my opinion, the seller is right, you merely say you're interested. But not CONFIRMED purchase. If for me, I would release it to the other buyer while we were having this convo as you were enquiring bout postage. what if you do not agree on the postage, high chance that you will not purchase it right?

  9. how do you determine an order is "confirmed"? is it only through the word "confirmed"?

    Maybe there is a misinterperception here in the wordings being used. But hey, even "confirmed" orders will have backout buyers too right?

    What's more, i am CHATTING with her online (emailing as both of us were online, we received each other emails in the next 3-5 minutes). I would have appreciated it if she can tell me "there is another order that came in actually during our conversation, are u keen with the purchase so i can confirm ur order?"

    And not, chatting so happily away like we're friends, and then hit me in the face like "snap back to reality, hey b!tch nice chatting wit u, but i have sold it to another customer when you were only inquiring, haha".


  10. from seller's viewpoint, she probably did not mention that someone else is is interested because that would seem like pressuring the buyer what. and most seller have no qualms about selling to a straightforward customer like missy then to a buyer who have to confirm a million and one things before committing to buy. just like how a buyer will more likely to purchase from a seller who sends out goods faster and charge cheaper. if buyer have the right to choose who to buy from, so can seller. how many times we have heard the excuse from buyer who change their mind after ordering that they already bought from another blogshop selling cheaper. in fact most buyers don't even bother explaining they just go mia.

  11. i still prefer to deal with blogshop that can have flexibility to retain good customer service. After all, most blogshops actually earn more from regular customers who put in more orders than random customers, because they buy the flexibility + good customer service + quality items that seller is able to provide. Although it's a business, there is still a relationship being involved, and both parties have to cherish what goes in between, because i know not alot of buyers out there like to go mia or backout as this indirectly effects the buyer's reputation of buying things online. I for sure, do not like to do that.

  12. I still think that this seller did provide you good customer serfvice by explaining on postage and so.What if another buyer just send in a confirmed order form just before you agree on purchase. It's not wrong for the seller to tell you it's has been reserved once you finish your convo with her then interupt you halfway.And by the way, your conversation wasnt realy long anyway.. just less then an hour? I really dont see any wrong in the service she provides.

  13. whaaat? but its rude to not tell the person u're discussing about and just let it go to some other. what if the person she supposedly intended to sell to goes MIA as well? like everyone knows, even if the buyer "confirm" wanna buy can back out as well what?

    some more the seller is chatting with the writer, i'm sure if she told the writer there is another buyer interested the writer can give answer then n there whether she want or not. maybe wait 10 minutes top. so its not like the seller have to wait for hours and afraid the other buyer will lose interest, just a few minutes lah. i'm sure the other buyer also wont mind if the seller reply 10 minutes later.

    its different if the email exchange takes hours, i understand sellers want fast deals. but this is like not even 10 minutes. maybe its not true but the only thing i can think of is the seller is greedy. cant even wait to ask the other person who inquired 1st for confirmation just want to give to someone who can pay faster.
    like i said, if the buyer takes hours responding to the emails maybe i can understand, this is like minutes only! just becos she's inquiring bout the postage u scared she wont agree and dont want to buy u decide to sell to the other person. if the person backs out serves u right.

    the stupidest thing is, why cant ask for confirmation? even if it'll take the first buyer 20 mins to reply, as if the other buyer cant wait that long for the seller to email her regarding the availability.

  14. Picture this:

    U're at a shop, say a flower shop, discussing about the bouquet u want to buy. U're asking about the delivery because u want the florist to deliver it to ur sweetheart. Suddenly she answers the phone and after hanging up informs u the bouquet is sold to someone else. How would u feel?

    I know its different but this is sorta like it. U're in the middle of planning a purchase and suddenly u're told its no longer available. Nice.

  15. anon 11.31pm, this happens quite often in real life. shit happens, just go to another flower shop la? its up to the seller who she wants to sell it to yea..

  16. but why would anyone wanna make other people's life like shit? anon 11:44 are u one of those people? u seem ok to with it and ok with the notion of selling to whoever seller wants. what if other shops dont have? thing here is why would anyone be so greedy and not think of others? disgusting. and people who agree with it to get money fast are disgusting as well. its like u do it too.

  17. writer @ anony 11.03pmApril 9, 2010 at 12:28 AM

    oh my god. thank you for standing up for me. you totally understood what i meant and spoke just the right words. Yes am not lying. Whole process took lesser than 30 mins at max 40 mins. She din bother to confirm wit me during our chat and din even bother telling after item is no longer available! I still remember her saying "yes its avail and last one for you to have it!" after i sent in the order form at initial stage. SO all this chat while i was having it with her, i thought it's still avail! and she was so friendly talking to me about postage, and me being with an idiot thinking the item is still available! I felt so foolish after that..

    Write @ Anony 11.31pm

    Yes you pictured it with physical buying at physical shops / outlet. That's exactly what i did. I wasn't so happy when she told me it wasn't avail anymore, after all she coulda been nice enough to confirm wit me if i wanted it when i was chatting with her.. but No, so i was mad and upset and pissed cuz it's a vintage necklace with is NOT RESTOCKABLE and i was mad at her ignorance..and i told her same thing.. "imagine if i'm inquiring bout an item at offline outlet, tak kan you gonna sell it to another buyer who comes after me right?" and she even said to me "yea.. well babe but this is different, and it is not the same as offline shopping" =.=

    Writer @ anony 11:44pm
    Yeaa dear i know shit happens, life is never fair.. haha that's why we vent out for spaces like this to rant and b!tch slap ppl without them knowing it..ngiak ngiak..hoping we can get some tension release or feel better after this..haih.. too bad the necklace not restockable and it's imported, only selling there.

    writer @ disgusted 11:53pm
    I agree with ya!! In the end i'm not so quite (offended) with the item being sold to other person who (came) after me, but more (offended) to her (NOT having the courtesy) to tell me and confirm when i was chatting wit her. I dont understand how the concept "seller can sell to whoever seller wants??" what's behind this? I mean c'mon it's an open business !! It's buyer choosing to buy from which seller, heard of consumer's right? Seller's concept is to open to ANY buyer, not choosing the buyer, as long as it is being treated and done well with no complaints.

  18. from my opinion, a good customer service management skill will involved understanding and good interaction with potential customer (will which means that person might buy or might not buy your products LoL)

    the writer is the first person who CONSULT on the product that she's interest with, no matter it is an inquiry or not, still she's the first person who step in for that particular item. "First come first serve", if the owner of the goods has other customer which would like to purchase on that item, owner will still need to ask the writer whether she still want it or not, i believe this is not so hard right?

    The owner of the goods seems just want to sell off her product asap, it is not wrong, but the customer satisfaction of her blog might lose out some points.

  19. i think the seller should have at least told you there was another buyer interested in the necklace. that is, if you were the first one to inquire about it.

    i know most sellers out there would say, "you didn't confirm, you don't get lah". but in this situation it's not fair because both seller & buyer were emailing back & forth. so the seller should have at least waited for the conversation to end, then re-confirm with the other buyer.

    just my 2 cents :)

  20. IMHO,

    Don't you guys feel that this situation is somehow like the seller.. being a guy who is doing two timing?

    Two girls approaches him, both have feelings for him. Girl A starts getting serious and talks to the guy about committing into a relationship. At moments later, Girl B took a quick direct step and confessed to the guy, asking him to be in a relationship.

    Guy ends up with Girl B, leaving Girl A broken-hearted.

    Whaddaya think?

  21. writer @ anony 7.44pmApril 10, 2010 at 3:54 PM

    yes hun, i'm the first one to inquire about it. Imagine after putting in the order form with full details and submitted the order like (hi dear, i'd love to purchase the xxxx necklace!!It's so pretty, i really hope i can be one of the lucky owners to have it, please tell me it's still available!), is that not good enough for confirming? lol..

    and guess what? her reply to me instantly was (yes dear, it's the last one and urs to have it!!) it's not like i will write to seller like this at the order form (i confirm to buy xxxx, thank you). How can you confirm to buy something, when you're not even sure what it's happening in between? Don't we all use wordings like i'm interested, i'd love to purchase, inquire bout the availability, then yes we confirm. Fast transactions also need to inquire things first okay!

    i guess most ignorant seller will only think (confirm order) is when they see the word confirm!

    "you didnt confirm, you don't get lah" i wasnt interested enough, i wouldnt be inquiring bout the postage rite! and how is inquiring postage for delivery is not part of the process of confirming!! this is all just bs bs bs la..

    She still told me "I'm fair to all my customers.. i'm sure you want me to be all LENIENT to you, but fairr to all the other customers right..but i'm not gonna do that cuz i'm fair to ALL my customers" such a big joke for me on that day..

    writer @ anony 8.44pm

    Hahaha.. i like your story. Yes i'm the Girl A devastated and broken hearted. But it's okay, it's not like i'm gonna be down for a cheap shop like that, just hi and bye experience:)

  22. Verdict: Buyer A & B are in the same status of order confirmation. But buyer B is less fussy about the postage cost. For all you know, buyer B gave seller the consent to pick the best option of delivery method and is willing to pay for it.

    The action of asking question might have caused the preception of low probability of buyer A's purchase confirmation. Imagine if buyer A disagree on the postage cost, order canceled. Anything could happen and some buyer do cancel orders for the sake of RM1 difference in cost. Seller then released the item to buyer B instead, merely because of this reason. No fuss, easy & simple transaction. Who doesn't like less fussy buyer?

    Conclusion: If you have discovered an item that you simply can't live without & for the sake of RM1-RM2 difference in postage, why not? It saves you the 'heartache' & 'depression'. Please take note that there are high chances that we are not the only buyer out there & it is better try to avoid petty questions. There can be easily a 20% of what we like, others might like it too. Unless, the item is really ugly or we simply can't decide to buy or not. Sometimes, the study of mind (psychology) skill is required in this matter. :-]

  23. gurls gurls gurls....THAT's the function of an order form la...when u fill in order form, it will be written in black n white, so sellers n buyers can no more argue..

    i don think this is so hard..everything oso must have black n white,then evrything will b organized meh..